Ashikai's Artwork

[Ashikai]

@ Eph: Thank you, my good sir. And I do apologize for not using MSN. It really is a pain in my backside. >_>

So, this cover that I've been working on I finally got around to toning and I'm not all that fond of it. Out of everything, toning is my definite weak point and I prefer to use as little tones as possible, but this was kinda an experiment. Harsh critique most appreciated on this one (toning moreso than anything else as I think everything else has kinda been commented on, but all feedback is appreciated).

So without further ado:

[ShayneZee]

The hair looks much better now that you rounded it a bit.

As for the screentones, don't be so hard on yourself. It looks good, I don't think I've seen screentones done like that, it's original and very fitting to your style. The only thing that I think doesn't fit with the rest of the picture style wise is the clouds. Personally I suck at clouds so I can't really make an alternative suggestion. But that's the only thing that sticks out to be, and it's not even that major. It's a very subtle thing that I noticed only by REALLY examining the whole image.

Oh I forgot to mention, I don't know what color her eye is supposed to be, but it looks a bit plain. That's the main thing that drew my attention. If you added screentone to that I think it'd be perfect.

The building looks amazing. Seriously the amount of detail and the way you did the black and screentones on it, as well as the amount of windows. It's all around excellent and a great addition to the piece.

Sorry Ashikai, I know you wanted a harsh critique of it, but I honestly can't see anything wrong with it. I really look forward to you're comic. And like Twil said, don't get hung up on being a perfectionist, aim for it, but don't spend hours and hours trying to get things completely perfect. Like she said even professionals don't draw things perfectly they have a deadline to worry about, and all that. Plus if you do feel that something doesn't look right or you aren't happy with it, you can ALWAYS go back and correct it later if you really need. But remember improvement is inevitable and you'll never be happy with pages you draw today compared to pages you draw six months or a year from now.

So that's about all I have to say, good luck with your comic I'm sure it'll be great.

[Ashikai]

Originally Posted by ShayneZee

The hair looks much better now that you rounded it a bit.

As for the screentones, don't be so hard on yourself. It looks good, I don't think I've seen screentones done like that, it's original and very fitting to your style. The only thing that I think doesn't fit with the rest of the picture style wise is the clouds. Personally I suck at clouds so I can't really make an alternative suggestion. But that's the only thing that sticks out to be, and it's not even that major. It's a very subtle thing that I noticed only by REALLY examining the whole image.

I know! I HATE clouds with a flaming passion. I can never get them to look right, and while I shouldn't be a perfectionist, I really feel like they hurt my image too much. T^T Oh well.

Thanks for the feedback, Shayne! Much obliged!

[Loom]

Not happy with it? Well, poo on you then! D8<

I love how the night scene came out, and I am also a fan of minimal tones. The building looks fantastic as does the girl up top! It's a great piece of promotional art, too, because it's one that piques your interest and makes you wonder. So, it definitely has the sense of mystique surrounding it.

<3 Yeah, and I'm practically camped out in your backyard waiting for this paranormal comic!

As for the clouds, better unobtrusive than the main focus, so in that sense they work perfectly. They don't draw you attention from the bulk of the pic.

If anything is bothersome, I think the lighting on the main male might be a bit odd. It seems a bit squarish on his chest, if I was to try and explain. Pectoral lighting is hard, though, so I'm hard-pressed to critique this area. And the hair doesn't seem to be ruled strongly by a particular light source either.

The picture is really good, though. Looks better than most stuff out there, so I might just go with it. I mean, heck, it sure as Hades makes ME wanna read it!!!

[Ashikai]

Originally Posted by Loom

Not happy with it? Well, poo on you then! D8<

I love how the night scene came out, and I am also a fan of minimal tones. The building looks fantastic as does the girl up top! It's a great piece of promotional art, too, because it's one that piques your interest and makes you wonder. So, it definitely has the sense of mystique surrounding it.

<3 Yeah, and I'm practically camped out in your backyard waiting for this paranormal comic!

As for the clouds, better unobtrusive than the main focus, so in that sense they work perfectly. They don't draw you attention from the bulk of the pic.

If anything is bothersome, I think the lighting on the main male might be a bit odd. It seems a bit squarish on his chest, if I was to try and explain. Pectoral lighting is hard, though, so I'm hard-pressed to critique this area. And the hair doesn't seem to be ruled strongly by a particular light source either.

The picture is really good, though. Looks better than most stuff out there, so I might just go with it. I mean, heck, it sure as Hades makes ME wanna read it!!!

....You're totally right, that chest area is squarish. I'll see if I can fix that a bit. I don't really see the issue with his hair, but I'll try a couple things to see if it makes a difference. I don't know about anyone else, but the trees and clouds bother me the most. >__o

But I'm glad you're looking forward to it! This trial run is a one-shot so it has a kinda silly plot.
Basically, it's Halloween and Isaac's friends convince him to investigate a seemingly abandoned manor on the rather unpopulated side of town. He only agrees so that they'll stop bothering him. Soon, he's sucked in to a bizarre adventure revolving around a black cat a the hundreds of ghosts of deceased mice who come back as ghosts for revenge. Goal: Protect the cat.

We'll see how it goes. I've got 1 page toned, 1.5 pages inked, four drawn and 10 named. The best part of this comic is that I'm getting class credit for it.

(BTW, I like your new banner!)

[Loom]

Don't bother with the hair too much then. It's not a huge issue; I just think his head/hair is a bit square too but it's barely there and not worth hassling over.

The clouds look fine to me overall. The trees are shaped funny in a few places and it's hard to discern if they're casting shadows, but they don't take away from the picture because they remain unobtrusive. At least they're not so detailed that they detract from the composition, which can be an issue for some people. Hahaha. Still a successful pic.

The story sounds cute. I love silly oneshots. (I love the idea of ghost-mice running around. I love the vision of tons of mice anyway -- I LOVE the Nutcracker, for example. XDXD) One thing I thought of though...if that's the abandoned manor, you might want to rough it up a bit when paneling in the comic. Maybe the grass is overgrown, some cracks, dusty. Or not. Just throwing out the brainstorming.

(And thanks. >.>)

[Ashikai]

Originally Posted by Loom

Don't bother with the hair too much then. It's not a huge issue; I just think his head/hair is a bit square too but it's barely there and not worth hassling over.

The clouds look fine to me overall. The trees are shaped funny in a few places and it's hard to discern if they're casting shadows, but they don't take away from the picture because they remain unobtrusive. At least they're not so detailed that they detract from the composition, which can be an issue for some people. Hahaha. Still a successful pic.

The story sounds cute. I love silly oneshots. (I love the idea of ghost-mice running around. I love the vision of tons of mice anyway -- I LOVE the Nutcracker, for example. XDXD) One thing I thought of though...if that's the abandoned manor, you might want to rough it up a bit when paneling in the comic. Maybe the grass is overgrown, some cracks, dusty. Or not. Just throwing out the brainstorming.

(And thanks. >.>)

Tis a seemingly abandoned manor. Mrs. Lulu Forthwright lives there. And it's her cat. =P

[Loom]

Ooooh. I see. I'm sure it'll all make sense when the story is done. But then...should it not look abandoned enough to convince the residents that it's abandoned? Or is it one of those cases where the kids are kinda...erm...not too bright and more in love with the idea of an abandoned house than actually looking for one that fits the bill? LOL. We have lots of people like that here. But then, down here, we actually have an abundance of abandoned houses... (Spirits/murder/nonliveable/etc.) Coming out of Halloween, I'm reminded fondly of my high school days when we went around to "abandoned" houses, dilapidated shacks, old graveyards, cow fields, and corn fields. Wait, you KNOW. You're familiar with the South, I think, or did you used to live in Tennessee? I have a bad memory with these things.

We have so many "dead" houses around here. I think I might like to take an expedition and just photograph some of them. They're actually really neat. Maybe that's partially why I'm so looking forward to this little oneshot. It reminds me of the stupid crap we do as teens.