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#1 |
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Otaku in Training
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 16
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Like a cross between One Piece, Berserk, and God of War. OMEGA TREE: SEEDS OF OBLIVION "Heaven's Abomination, Earth's Apocalypse, Hell's Saviour" Talyn "Hawkeyes" Hayate embarks on a quest of vegenance. Along the way he reluctantly gathers a crew of outcasts and ruthless killers, who have their own goals in mind. All those that stand in the way will be crushed. The Antagonist The ARK (Allied Royal Kingdoms) The ARK consists of 4 royal families {surnamed after my four favorite mangaka Toriyama(DBZ), Oda(One Piece), Kishimoto(Naruto) and Hoshino(D.Grayman)}They are constantly at war with the pirates they claim are "corrupting the worlds values". Each family has a bloodline that increases a persons natural ability such as strength, speed, defense, killing techinques/strikes. Every few generations a genetic mutation results in an extremly powerful child, with powers that can far surpass even the strongest tribe member if trained correctly, i.e speed that can create sonic booms, strength to lift a mountain, defense that can withstand a bullet at point blank range, killing techniques that can rip through someone like they are paper. These children are called "Savants". The Divine Kings The sons of the "gods" and they each are Anthropomorphic but not to the extent of their fathers. Their strength is a great as the "Savants". They answer to no one but the "gods". They rarely concern themselves with the problems of the ARK as they are mere humans and they themselves are generally at war with Legacy(religious revolutionaries). They have bestowed upon their allies (ARK and Vanguard)the powers of "omega seeds". Each "seed" gives an individual powers i.e. control gravity, influence others decisions, invisibility. The Vanguard They are a group of extremely powerful rogues i.e. (Akatsuki from Naruto, Shichibukai from One Piece, Espada from Bleach). They work for whomever can pay them the most and are loyal to no one, not even each other.The Titans Each "god" can control a natural element (fire, earth, lightning, wind, ice) and are nearly immortal. They each have vastly different personalities and agendas. They hide a secret that could threaten their titles as "gods."The Tsuno Called demons by the people but they truly have no idea what they are. They ae confined to certain islands by the Titans so that they could be watched and not roam freely. They are extremly powerful and even the "gods" fear their powers. Just a tiny bit of my manga. Last edited by roronoa3000; 11-07-2009 at 01:58 PM. |
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#2 |
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Casual Otaku
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: somewhere fun!!!
Posts: 228
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I like the groups you made , and the way the abilities don't feel outrageous. However, by putting in references to those other manga...it started feeling less and less original and as if you just took the raw materials that you think are needed for one manga and then chucked them together. Why is hawkeye on a quest for vengence might I ask? could we hear a little more about the story?
Don't worry too much though..what I said is just a matter or personal taste I actually quite like what I have read. I'm looking forward to hearing more ![]()
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#3 | |
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Otaku in Training
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 16
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Quote:
As for Hawkeye, he is seeking vengeance against Basilisk, the Titan that controls fire. The jest of the story is Talyn was on an island of slaves that mined the hardest metals in the world at the request of Basilisk. It was so hard that it was impossible to cut through. After years of back-breaking they had mined every last single bit of metal there was. They began to celebrate thinking that their days of slaves were over and that they could leave the island and go about their lives. Basilik being a "god" that represented trust, justice, mercy, peace and freedom to the world, could not let them go because the world would find out what kind of "god" he really was and his whole master plan would be in jeopardy. So that night Basilisk destroyed the entire island with one giant fireball as bright as the sun. Talyn was the only one that survived. (*secret*) Now you think, why does he want that metal? How did Talyn survive? Last edited by roronoa3000; 11-04-2009 at 03:50 PM. |
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#4 |
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Casual Otaku
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: somewhere fun!!!
Posts: 228
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Yup, I'm sure I like this Idea now
. The savants abilities are cool and feel original. The story feels quite deep and has the small mystery element that will keep me reading. If the characters are cool I can imagine really enjoying this ![]()
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#5 |
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Otaku in Training
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 16
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My first attempt at my opening chapter.
I will repost this after I draw the chapter and work on the writing somemore. THE OMEGA TREE BOOK 1: SEEDS OF OBLIVION INTERLUDE: SEED OF HATRED I am not a hero I do not fight for justice I do not fight for equality I do not fight for freedom I fight for REVENGE I was once called an angel by all those the happened across my path Gentle Joyous Compassionate But today is a new day Anew me I shall no longer dwell on what I was That is the past That is history That is all behind me My heart is filled Filled with hatred Malice Animosity For that man That man with the power to manipulate the most basic of elements FIRE The undying infernos of hell The unquenchable flames that burn as hot as the sun The ceaseless blazes of earth’s molten core FIRE Fire was this mans weapon of choice It was that weapon that he used Used to shatter me My World My heart My soul My mind My body The transgressions of that man That villain That pyromaniac That false deity Shall never be forgiven For it was his sins of that fateful day that did this That transformed me forever Transformed me into An angel of retribution An angel of vindication An angel of… VEGENANCE Last edited by roronoa3000; 11-08-2009 at 07:02 PM. |
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#6 | |
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Casual Otaku
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 132
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Damn sick monologue, real scary. ![]() I just feel that the element of Fire has run out of epicness in mangas & stories since it's quite basic and overall overused. However, it shuns me that you managed to make up for it with a lot of cool metaphors and comparisons. I trust that you will make a good thing out of it. Nice one bud.
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Rosario + Vampire FAN BOY! Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul. |
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#7 |
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Otaku in Training
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 16
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A little more plot.
Talyn Hayate embarks on a quest of vegenance after his world is destroyed in one blinding flash. Along the way Talyn seeks to unravel the mystery of his past revolving around his family and childhood friends. While digging into the past he and his crew uncover some secrets the certain people want to stay buried. With his actions Talyn makes many friends and just as many enemies, all of whom would love to have he and his crew of their side. The trouble sturred up by the Talyns outlaws puts the world on the brink of war. Their collective actions may invoke the ancient prophecy of the gods. Last edited by roronoa3000; 11-11-2009 at 09:51 AM. |
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#8 | |
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Otaku in Training
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 16
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Quote:
![]() One reason I decided to use fire because I was largely inspired by Norse mythology as well as japanese and greek. In Norse mythology Surtr the fire giant was one of the biggest oppositions to the gods and he actually destroyed the earth in the Ragnarok. |
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#9 |
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Otaku in Training
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 7
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Whut the hell.
No, seriously. What is this guy even fighting for? Vengence against who? And yeah, so his little 'crew' of misguided folowers will actually bring down all these 'SparkleGods' with all that power... Yeah. Totally beleivable. I mean, I like the concept and I can tell that you worked hard on the mechanics of the plot but OMG. It's like you took every single scrap of popular fandom you could find and meshed it together to create this! If you took out some of the massive powers, and maybe cut down on the amount of erm...sects? IDK... you could actually have something. (but please explain what this guy's trying to do...) |
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#10 | |
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Otaku in Training
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 63
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